I know this has been a long time coming, and Rosie, I apologise! But I really haven't had the energy.
It's not that the Student life's hard work or challenging in any way, but you kind of get used to doing nothing, and writing a regular blog was one of the things which I had to postpone in order to fulfil my daily slobbery needs. Other sacrifices include: the gym, eating a healthy diet, maintaining regular hygiene and changing my bed sheets.
I'm sure you're thrilled to know that.
So it's exam time soon, and lately I've been revising to the sound of Nickelback and 1970s Rock and Roll. Thin Lizzy - Jailbreak is a classic and some of Nickelback's Lyrics have seen me look like a total prick infront of strangers in the street by giggling to myself on the way home from work, (I kid you not, it did happen)
I guess it wasn't really right
I guess it wasn't meant to be
It didn't matter what they said
'Cause we were good in bed
I guess I stuck around so I could watch us fight
for all the wrong reasons
No, it didn't matter what I tried
It's just a little hard to leave
When you're going down on me
I guess I stuck around so I could watch us fight
for all the wrong reasons
Is that not the best lyric writing in the world?
Wednesday, 6 May 2009
Sunday, 1 February 2009
The Blog which Ends Abruptly
Tomorrow is my first day back at University after Christmas after 5 weeks off. I bloody love the Student life!
This time of year's always a bit depressing. An 11 Month wait til Christmas and to make matters worse I turn 20 this year. It's not good. I'm barely mature enough to be a teenager, never mind an adult. I still giggle like a schoolgirl if someone has a funny last name, ('Woodcock' being a brilliant example) and I also still religiously watch Nickelodeon. Ah well.At least I don't live in Zimbabwe.
Why Zimbabwe you ask? Well, really just so I can post this picture of what 100 Billion Zimbabwean Dollars would buy you:
Oh and also this one, just because I can:
This time of year's always a bit depressing. An 11 Month wait til Christmas and to make matters worse I turn 20 this year. It's not good. I'm barely mature enough to be a teenager, never mind an adult. I still giggle like a schoolgirl if someone has a funny last name, ('Woodcock' being a brilliant example) and I also still religiously watch Nickelodeon. Ah well.At least I don't live in Zimbabwe.
Why Zimbabwe you ask? Well, really just so I can post this picture of what 100 Billion Zimbabwean Dollars would buy you:
Oh and also this one, just because I can:
Friday, 16 January 2009
The Naked Blog (Not for the faint hearted)
Ever had a day where you feel like you've accomplished absolutly nothing?
Well I had one today and I have to say it was fantastic.
For the last 4 days I've been spending most of my time writing possibly the least interesting essay ever known to mankind: 'The Significance of the 1848 Revolution on the development of Modern Germany'.
WOOHOO! erm... well not really, it has driven me to levels of boredom which I thought only existed in ancient myth and at star trek conventions. Some time during yesterday afternoon's bore-fest I spent a good half hour putting super glue on my finger and watching it dry, and then peeling it off. I even drew up mental plans for a new shelf to house my never-ending DVD collection. I hope that this information is really emphasising the fact that I've been BORED. Nobody ever does DIY when they have better things to do!
I even cooked (although I don't know if you can count egg and beans as cooking.) Just One piece of advice for everyone: Never cook foods that spatter when you're only wearing your underwear, it's painful and unpleasant and there's always the possibility that you might end up frying something else... Something that only John Barrowman would eat.
While I'm on the topic of matters below the belt, I had a crisis this morning when I was getting dressed. There was no underwear left in my drawer. What would you do in that situation?
would you:
a) Go without
b) fashion some makeshift boxers from old newspapers
c) Wear yesterday's pair inside out
d) Borrow a pair of your brothers spiderman y-fronts
or
e) Go back to bed and forget about clothes for the day altogether?
Let me know what you'd do. (if you pick D, I'm ringing the police)
Well I had one today and I have to say it was fantastic.
For the last 4 days I've been spending most of my time writing possibly the least interesting essay ever known to mankind: 'The Significance of the 1848 Revolution on the development of Modern Germany'.
WOOHOO! erm... well not really, it has driven me to levels of boredom which I thought only existed in ancient myth and at star trek conventions. Some time during yesterday afternoon's bore-fest I spent a good half hour putting super glue on my finger and watching it dry, and then peeling it off. I even drew up mental plans for a new shelf to house my never-ending DVD collection. I hope that this information is really emphasising the fact that I've been BORED. Nobody ever does DIY when they have better things to do!
I even cooked (although I don't know if you can count egg and beans as cooking.) Just One piece of advice for everyone: Never cook foods that spatter when you're only wearing your underwear, it's painful and unpleasant and there's always the possibility that you might end up frying something else... Something that only John Barrowman would eat.
While I'm on the topic of matters below the belt, I had a crisis this morning when I was getting dressed. There was no underwear left in my drawer. What would you do in that situation?
would you:
a) Go without
b) fashion some makeshift boxers from old newspapers
c) Wear yesterday's pair inside out
d) Borrow a pair of your brothers spiderman y-fronts
or
e) Go back to bed and forget about clothes for the day altogether?
Let me know what you'd do. (if you pick D, I'm ringing the police)
Sunday, 4 January 2009
An Apology
Dear Blog Fan,
I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to you about the lack of blogness recently. I'm sure if you'd have been that bothered you'd have complained. So I'll just get down to it shall I?
About a week before Christmas my family all got Leprosy, including me. It was horrible and subsequently ruined my birthday. Instead of going to bed at 4am after drinking copious amounts of alcohol as I'd planned, I was in bed by 9pm after drinking copious amounts of Lemsip, which incidentally tastes like it's been through a gerbil's digestive system.
Christmas was average, as always. It's the same thing every year, and it's always on the same day! How boring! My favourite present was obviously my brand new slinky. Screw all the new clothes and DVDs and the rest of the expensive stuff. Slinky's where it's at!
After a week's solid slinky play, 2008 was over. It wasn’t a great year for a lot of reasons. The main reason being that I saw Callie Gower 6 times. And we all know that once a decade is quite enough. So let’s all hope that 2009 is a good, fun, Callie-free year!
Shalom to You.
I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to you about the lack of blogness recently. I'm sure if you'd have been that bothered you'd have complained. So I'll just get down to it shall I?
About a week before Christmas my family all got Leprosy, including me. It was horrible and subsequently ruined my birthday. Instead of going to bed at 4am after drinking copious amounts of alcohol as I'd planned, I was in bed by 9pm after drinking copious amounts of Lemsip, which incidentally tastes like it's been through a gerbil's digestive system.
Christmas was average, as always. It's the same thing every year, and it's always on the same day! How boring! My favourite present was obviously my brand new slinky. Screw all the new clothes and DVDs and the rest of the expensive stuff. Slinky's where it's at!
After a week's solid slinky play, 2008 was over. It wasn’t a great year for a lot of reasons. The main reason being that I saw Callie Gower 6 times. And we all know that once a decade is quite enough. So let’s all hope that 2009 is a good, fun, Callie-free year!
Shalom to You.
Thursday, 11 December 2008
December!
Well, my masterpiece is finished. My life will be empty without it, but at least now everyone can enjoy the fruits of my imagination!
I decided that I needed to write a new 'normal' blog because I haven't done one in December yet. So here we go...
Ice - It was really icy this morning and walking my brother to school was hilarious. it really shouldn't have been but it was. You just can't hold the laughter in when you see a kid fly flat on his arse while trying to show off. Priceless. Karma nearly got me back though. I almost went on my way home!
Benefits - How can people complain that the government's gonna stop their benefits if they don't look for work? Why do they think they have the right to leech off other people who work hard? I'm sticking to the plan that I set out in one of my very first blogs about 4 years ago: Blow up Bransholme and make it 'BransHOLE'.
And now I've suddenly run out of things to talk about, so I'm going to finish on a quote from Futurama.
"Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's Love: Hard and Fast"
Goodbye and Goodnight!
I decided that I needed to write a new 'normal' blog because I haven't done one in December yet. So here we go...
Ice - It was really icy this morning and walking my brother to school was hilarious. it really shouldn't have been but it was. You just can't hold the laughter in when you see a kid fly flat on his arse while trying to show off. Priceless. Karma nearly got me back though. I almost went on my way home!
Benefits - How can people complain that the government's gonna stop their benefits if they don't look for work? Why do they think they have the right to leech off other people who work hard? I'm sticking to the plan that I set out in one of my very first blogs about 4 years ago: Blow up Bransholme and make it 'BransHOLE'.
And now I've suddenly run out of things to talk about, so I'm going to finish on a quote from Futurama.
"Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's Love: Hard and Fast"
Goodbye and Goodnight!
An Epic Tale Part 4: The End
It was the day of the assault on diet coke and Bill was sat in a helicopter with the rubber fist ready to parachute in.
“I’m nervous, I think I’ve just wet myself” said the rubber fist.
“Shut up you girl” replied Bill in a typical lorry driver fashion.
As they both jumped the sound of the rubber fist’s bowels emptying could be distinctly heard. Despite this, Bill was focussed. He would defeat whoever was in charge of this un-holy product.
Luckily, our heroes parachuted straight through the glass ceiling of the head of Diet Coke’s office. Which when this story is made into a film will probably be replaced by lots of fight scenes and possibly a rip off of Oompa-Loompas. Anyway, this is the written version so use your imagination!
“Who are you?” said the mysterious director sat at a darkened desk in his office.
“My name’s Bill and this is my slightly homosexual sidekick; Jonathan” exclaimed Bill.
“Ah yes, I’ve been expecting you, despite my previous question. Sorry about the darkness by the way, bloody bulb’s gone!” said the director as he paced slowly into the light in a dramatic fashion.
“You ruined my life! Who are you?”
“I think deep down you’ve know all along Bill”
The director stepped into the light, revealing himself to be Bill’s long time friend; Alex Blackburne.
“Alex? How could you!? I thought we were friends?” screeched the rubber fist.
Bill fell silent. Did he really want to kill his friend? Whether he had caused the death of his parents or not?
Fortunately fate made the decision for him. Alex slipped in a puddle of Diet Coke that he had spilled earlier in the day and he was sent crashing through the window of his 12th floor office head first onto a conveniently placed 8ft spike. Bill then realised that he had not used his super-powers at all in the full adventure, maybe it had been an oversight by the writer in an otherwise brilliant literary masterpiece, whatever it was, Bill didn’t really care. He flew home the next day, happy that he had taken revenge.
Blah Blah Blah ...Happily ever after.
“I’m nervous, I think I’ve just wet myself” said the rubber fist.
“Shut up you girl” replied Bill in a typical lorry driver fashion.
As they both jumped the sound of the rubber fist’s bowels emptying could be distinctly heard. Despite this, Bill was focussed. He would defeat whoever was in charge of this un-holy product.
Luckily, our heroes parachuted straight through the glass ceiling of the head of Diet Coke’s office. Which when this story is made into a film will probably be replaced by lots of fight scenes and possibly a rip off of Oompa-Loompas. Anyway, this is the written version so use your imagination!
“Who are you?” said the mysterious director sat at a darkened desk in his office.
“My name’s Bill and this is my slightly homosexual sidekick; Jonathan” exclaimed Bill.
“Ah yes, I’ve been expecting you, despite my previous question. Sorry about the darkness by the way, bloody bulb’s gone!” said the director as he paced slowly into the light in a dramatic fashion.
“You ruined my life! Who are you?”
“I think deep down you’ve know all along Bill”
The director stepped into the light, revealing himself to be Bill’s long time friend; Alex Blackburne.
“Alex? How could you!? I thought we were friends?” screeched the rubber fist.
Bill fell silent. Did he really want to kill his friend? Whether he had caused the death of his parents or not?
Fortunately fate made the decision for him. Alex slipped in a puddle of Diet Coke that he had spilled earlier in the day and he was sent crashing through the window of his 12th floor office head first onto a conveniently placed 8ft spike. Bill then realised that he had not used his super-powers at all in the full adventure, maybe it had been an oversight by the writer in an otherwise brilliant literary masterpiece, whatever it was, Bill didn’t really care. He flew home the next day, happy that he had taken revenge.
Blah Blah Blah ...Happily ever after.
Monday, 8 December 2008
An Epic Tale Part 3: Calm Before the Storm
After many months of training (Which if this was a film would probably involve some kind of triumphant montage) Bill and the Rubber Fist started their assault on the Diet Coke headquarters.
Bill had spent a year’s wages on super-hero costumes, gadgets and the plane tickets to America, but he knew that it would all be worth it if he could take his revenge.
It was raining in Atlanta. The heroes were tired, and the colours in their costumes had begun to run. They stood outside the gates of the coca-cola company looking determined. Tomorrow they would launch their attack on Diet Coke (Once their costumes had dried).
Bill woke up with the rubber fist sprawled across his side of the bed in a pool of his own saliva, well, what he hoped was saliva. They’d been drinking and things had got kind of weird, but that’s a story for another day.
Bill had spent a year’s wages on super-hero costumes, gadgets and the plane tickets to America, but he knew that it would all be worth it if he could take his revenge.
It was raining in Atlanta. The heroes were tired, and the colours in their costumes had begun to run. They stood outside the gates of the coca-cola company looking determined. Tomorrow they would launch their attack on Diet Coke (Once their costumes had dried).
Bill woke up with the rubber fist sprawled across his side of the bed in a pool of his own saliva, well, what he hoped was saliva. They’d been drinking and things had got kind of weird, but that’s a story for another day.
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