It was the day of the assault on diet coke and Bill was sat in a helicopter with the rubber fist ready to parachute in.
“I’m nervous, I think I’ve just wet myself” said the rubber fist.
“Shut up you girl” replied Bill in a typical lorry driver fashion.
As they both jumped the sound of the rubber fist’s bowels emptying could be distinctly heard. Despite this, Bill was focussed. He would defeat whoever was in charge of this un-holy product.
Luckily, our heroes parachuted straight through the glass ceiling of the head of Diet Coke’s office. Which when this story is made into a film will probably be replaced by lots of fight scenes and possibly a rip off of Oompa-Loompas. Anyway, this is the written version so use your imagination!
“Who are you?” said the mysterious director sat at a darkened desk in his office.
“My name’s Bill and this is my slightly homosexual sidekick; Jonathan” exclaimed Bill.
“Ah yes, I’ve been expecting you, despite my previous question. Sorry about the darkness by the way, bloody bulb’s gone!” said the director as he paced slowly into the light in a dramatic fashion.
“You ruined my life! Who are you?”
“I think deep down you’ve know all along Bill”
The director stepped into the light, revealing himself to be Bill’s long time friend; Alex Blackburne.
“Alex? How could you!? I thought we were friends?” screeched the rubber fist.
Bill fell silent. Did he really want to kill his friend? Whether he had caused the death of his parents or not?
Fortunately fate made the decision for him. Alex slipped in a puddle of Diet Coke that he had spilled earlier in the day and he was sent crashing through the window of his 12th floor office head first onto a conveniently placed 8ft spike. Bill then realised that he had not used his super-powers at all in the full adventure, maybe it had been an oversight by the writer in an otherwise brilliant literary masterpiece, whatever it was, Bill didn’t really care. He flew home the next day, happy that he had taken revenge.
Blah Blah Blah ...Happily ever after.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment