Happy America Day

The Webster's Dictionary definition of Halloween:

Halloween or Hallowe'en is a holiday celebrated in much of the Western world on the night of October 31, the night before All Saints Day (Nov. 1), hence its alternative name as All Saints Eve or All Hallows' Eve. Long surviving in Ireland, it was brought to the United States by Irish emigrants in the 19th century.

Why Webster's Dictionary you ask? Well, because it's purely American, much like Halloween should be. I fail to see why we (and the rest of the world) buy into everything from 'across the pond' so readily. Fair enough they make pretty good music, and film, and TV, I have no problem with that, I'm actually a big fan of shows like Scrubs and Friends but I just don't understand why we have this desire as a country to be just like America.

I think this has all been brought on by my fundamental hatred for Halloween. The kids knocking on your door while their parents stand judgmentally at the end of your driveway, the shitty orange excuse for a fruit more commonly known as a pumpkin and worst of all the 25 year old chavs who knock on your door at 11pm saying trick or treat who think that putting their hood up is a good enough costume.

Thankfully in our house everyone is of the same opinion. We sit silently in complete darkness ignoring any knocks on the door whilst clutching our crucifixes waiting for daybreak, when we know we'll be safe again. Of course there's always one set of the little trick or treating bastards who sneak around on the 1st of November trying to con you, which is why we usually go out as a family for tea and surround the house with bear traps. The corpses make a wonderful desert when served with left over toffee apples from Hull fair.

But my biggest problem with Halloween, the thing I hate most, is people wanting money from you. Why on earth should I give people money for dressing like they've just escaped a mental asylum? I work hard for my money, there's no way I'm giving it to some acne ridden teenager because he's managed to buy a set of fake fangs and squirt tomato ketchup in and around his mouth. The little shits will be getting nothing from me, ever.

So my plea to the whole of the United Kingdom (which will somewhat be in vain because I know that only 3 people read this blog) is to stop celebrating Halloween, put more emphasis on Bonfire night instead, a night which actually has some cultural and historical relevance to us all.

(Even though for most of you, culture is defined as which drug-dealer you use or where you like to go to get absolutely rat-arsed and beat up your wife, and History is defined as who you shagged up the arse last week, you fucking Phillistines.)

My Life; Without Football Manager

So that time of year's rolling around again!

No, I'm not talking about Christmas or even the new year, I'm talking about Football Manager's release date. Friday the 30th of October 2010 to be precice; The day that I'll lose 2 friends to the lure of a PC football management game (as the game's title suggests).

Phil and Alex are both taking charge of Harrogate Town (Up the Sulphurites!) and hopefully taking them all the way to the top of the Premiership, and maybe even Europe. They'll both be blogging their progress, Alex's will be here:

http://alexbrfc-fm-blog.blogspot.com/

and Phil's will be... well, I'm sure once Phil gets round to it there'll be a link on Alex's page.

But in the spirit of not being left out I thought I might start blogging a bit more regularly (who needs a degree anyway?)

Who knows, I might even blog about some of the games I've been addicted to, it'll be something for Phil and Al to read once Harrogate have their hands on the Champions League Trophy.

I would start now, but I just saw a German film with breasts in it, so I have to go and reminisce! Bye!