It's been a turbulant weekend at Hillsborough. Yesterday saw Brian Law's replacement; Alex Blackburne officially unveiled to the press. Blackburne got to work straight away knowing that he has a lot to do if he is to keep Wednesday away from the relegation places come the end of the season. His first signing came in the early hours of Sunday, Sam Axon, was snapped up on a free transfer after being without a club for some time.
Blackburne who started his managerial career at minnows Harrogate Town before moving on to make his name at AFC Telford landed his first job in League Football with a hopeful letter sent to Owls Chief Exec. Nick Parker, who saw real potential in him. With no other options at the time, Blackburne was handed a 1 year contract to prove himself. Parker had this to say of his new Manager, "Alex is a proven manager in the lower leagues, I'm certain his skills will transfer well to life in the Championship, I have complete faith in his ability and look forward to working with him for years to come."
Wednesday currently lie in 22nd place, marooned on 18 points, something which Blackburne wants to change, at his 1st press conference he had this to say "There's a lot to be done at this football club. They have such a great history and deserve better to be in the position that they're in. I'll be scouring the loan market and looking at a few free agents to help us through this tough spell before I can revamp the squad in January, the current players will all have to prove to me that they deserve their place in the team. It really is time to shape up, or ship out."
His first signing, Axon, is a real journeyman of lower league football but has been without a club since the 2007/08 season after Longhill Ravens were forced to fold. Known for his rock solid defence, organisational skills and skill going forward, he has been unfortunate with injury over his career and many pundits say that were it not for these injuries, he would have been a regular in the England team.
Blackburne will be hoping that Axon stays free from injury problems as he looks to patch up the Owls defence, which has been leaking goals of late, and rebuild it around the commanding Axon. "Sam is a great signing for us, of course we have fitness worries, mainly the fact that he can't manage a lap of our training field without needing oxygen and also that his left ankle is only held in place by a flimsy ankle support due to his lack of ligaments."
Axon, who was diagnosed with a dodgy ankle while playing for East Hull Tigers subsequently suffered repeat injuries twice with Longhill in the 2007/08 season, is looking forward to a new challenge, "I'm looking forward to a new challenge." Axon said when asked about his view on this new challenge.
Blackburne will take charge for Wednesday's game on Boxing Day against Newcastle and will be looking to hand a debut to Axon as well as any other pre-christmas signings.
Sunday 20 December 2009
Tuesday 3 November 2009
Dream Team: Conference North
The English Conference North; the 6th tier of English football is not the most classy place to be plying your trade as a manager. Especially when it's on a 3 year old copy of Football Manager in your bedroom, borrowed from your mate, in Hull, while you're a student. Yes, that's right, I'm a loser and cosequently nearly just fell backwards of my chair while typing that sentence.
Nevertheless, my two friends (not my only 2 friends, just 2 of my numerous (4) friends) are currently trying to take Harrogate Town all the way to the Premier League on Football Manager 2010. I on the other hand thought it might be fun to see what would happen if an American pornography tycoon bought the mighty 'Sulphurites' and injected oodles of cash into them.
So, I was appointed manager at the beginning of July 2006 with a rather healthy transfer budget of £700,000,000 to spend.
I was a fairly incompetent manager to start with, I didn't quite know where to look for players or hire staff so my first match was a disaster. I was beaten 2-1 by a team called Kermt-Haselt, who I can only guess are imaginary.
However, once I'd found my way around the screen I started to make some progress. I signed elderly goalkeeper Paul Jones first, who would in the end only play 1 game before being replaced by Peter Enklemann. I signed myself a good assistant and signed promising German midfielder Aaron Hunt.
My first pre-season in charge saw a major overhaul of the playing staff at Weatherby Road. Most of the original team were released or sold as I brought in players such as Danny Guthrie, Phil Cave, Steven Warnock and Nicky Southall who all played their part in my first win. 3-1 against Huddersfield.
My next game was a friendly against Lancaster who had a Striker called Rob Black. I figured this could only be a good thing and was proved right as I won 7-0 and Black was sent off for a clumsy challenge on Nicky Southall. Typical.
My first league match was re-arranged due to international call-ups, which I assume is a first for the Conference North. In the end it was a 0-0 draw with highly glamorous Leigh. These would be the only points I dropped all season as my Harrogate dream team would go on to win their remaining 41 league matches convincingly and we found ourselves declared Champions with around 12 games left to play.
Not everything went totally to plan in my first League season though. Despite winning the FA Trophy, I was dumped out of the FA cup by Coventry in the 4th round and also found myself embroiled in a Fergie style war of words with Scarborough manager Mick Hucknall (Although I'm not sure if Mick was actualy his first name, I've done that for comic effect).
The club was also leaking money at an alarming rate. Transfer fees, wages and a maximum stadium capacity of around 3,000 had left me with very little money coming in compared to a lot going out. A problem which I'll have to fix next year in the big, bad Conference.
Nevertheless, my two friends (not my only 2 friends, just 2 of my numerous (4) friends) are currently trying to take Harrogate Town all the way to the Premier League on Football Manager 2010. I on the other hand thought it might be fun to see what would happen if an American pornography tycoon bought the mighty 'Sulphurites' and injected oodles of cash into them.
So, I was appointed manager at the beginning of July 2006 with a rather healthy transfer budget of £700,000,000 to spend.
I was a fairly incompetent manager to start with, I didn't quite know where to look for players or hire staff so my first match was a disaster. I was beaten 2-1 by a team called Kermt-Haselt, who I can only guess are imaginary.
However, once I'd found my way around the screen I started to make some progress. I signed elderly goalkeeper Paul Jones first, who would in the end only play 1 game before being replaced by Peter Enklemann. I signed myself a good assistant and signed promising German midfielder Aaron Hunt.
My first pre-season in charge saw a major overhaul of the playing staff at Weatherby Road. Most of the original team were released or sold as I brought in players such as Danny Guthrie, Phil Cave, Steven Warnock and Nicky Southall who all played their part in my first win. 3-1 against Huddersfield.
My next game was a friendly against Lancaster who had a Striker called Rob Black. I figured this could only be a good thing and was proved right as I won 7-0 and Black was sent off for a clumsy challenge on Nicky Southall. Typical.
My first league match was re-arranged due to international call-ups, which I assume is a first for the Conference North. In the end it was a 0-0 draw with highly glamorous Leigh. These would be the only points I dropped all season as my Harrogate dream team would go on to win their remaining 41 league matches convincingly and we found ourselves declared Champions with around 12 games left to play.
Not everything went totally to plan in my first League season though. Despite winning the FA Trophy, I was dumped out of the FA cup by Coventry in the 4th round and also found myself embroiled in a Fergie style war of words with Scarborough manager Mick Hucknall (Although I'm not sure if Mick was actualy his first name, I've done that for comic effect).
The club was also leaking money at an alarming rate. Transfer fees, wages and a maximum stadium capacity of around 3,000 had left me with very little money coming in compared to a lot going out. A problem which I'll have to fix next year in the big, bad Conference.
Saturday 31 October 2009
Happy America Day
The Webster's Dictionary definition of Halloween:
Halloween or Hallowe'en is a holiday celebrated in much of the Western world on the night of October 31, the night before All Saints Day (Nov. 1), hence its alternative name as All Saints Eve or All Hallows' Eve. Long surviving in Ireland, it was brought to the United States by Irish emigrants in the 19th century.
Why Webster's Dictionary you ask? Well, because it's purely American, much like Halloween should be. I fail to see why we (and the rest of the world) buy into everything from 'across the pond' so readily. Fair enough they make pretty good music, and film, and TV, I have no problem with that, I'm actually a big fan of shows like Scrubs and Friends but I just don't understand why we have this desire as a country to be just like America.
I think this has all been brought on by my fundamental hatred for Halloween. The kids knocking on your door while their parents stand judgmentally at the end of your driveway, the shitty orange excuse for a fruit more commonly known as a pumpkin and worst of all the 25 year old chavs who knock on your door at 11pm saying trick or treat who think that putting their hood up is a good enough costume.
Thankfully in our house everyone is of the same opinion. We sit silently in complete darkness ignoring any knocks on the door whilst clutching our crucifixes waiting for daybreak, when we know we'll be safe again. Of course there's always one set of the little trick or treating bastards who sneak around on the 1st of November trying to con you, which is why we usually go out as a family for tea and surround the house with bear traps. The corpses make a wonderful desert when served with left over toffee apples from Hull fair.
But my biggest problem with Halloween, the thing I hate most, is people wanting money from you. Why on earth should I give people money for dressing like they've just escaped a mental asylum? I work hard for my money, there's no way I'm giving it to some acne ridden teenager because he's managed to buy a set of fake fangs and squirt tomato ketchup in and around his mouth. The little shits will be getting nothing from me, ever.
So my plea to the whole of the United Kingdom (which will somewhat be in vain because I know that only 3 people read this blog) is to stop celebrating Halloween, put more emphasis on Bonfire night instead, a night which actually has some cultural and historical relevance to us all.
(Even though for most of you, culture is defined as which drug-dealer you use or where you like to go to get absolutely rat-arsed and beat up your wife, and History is defined as who you shagged up the arse last week, you fucking Phillistines.)
Halloween or Hallowe'en is a holiday celebrated in much of the Western world on the night of October 31, the night before All Saints Day (Nov. 1), hence its alternative name as All Saints Eve or All Hallows' Eve. Long surviving in Ireland, it was brought to the United States by Irish emigrants in the 19th century.
Why Webster's Dictionary you ask? Well, because it's purely American, much like Halloween should be. I fail to see why we (and the rest of the world) buy into everything from 'across the pond' so readily. Fair enough they make pretty good music, and film, and TV, I have no problem with that, I'm actually a big fan of shows like Scrubs and Friends but I just don't understand why we have this desire as a country to be just like America.
I think this has all been brought on by my fundamental hatred for Halloween. The kids knocking on your door while their parents stand judgmentally at the end of your driveway, the shitty orange excuse for a fruit more commonly known as a pumpkin and worst of all the 25 year old chavs who knock on your door at 11pm saying trick or treat who think that putting their hood up is a good enough costume.
Thankfully in our house everyone is of the same opinion. We sit silently in complete darkness ignoring any knocks on the door whilst clutching our crucifixes waiting for daybreak, when we know we'll be safe again. Of course there's always one set of the little trick or treating bastards who sneak around on the 1st of November trying to con you, which is why we usually go out as a family for tea and surround the house with bear traps. The corpses make a wonderful desert when served with left over toffee apples from Hull fair.
But my biggest problem with Halloween, the thing I hate most, is people wanting money from you. Why on earth should I give people money for dressing like they've just escaped a mental asylum? I work hard for my money, there's no way I'm giving it to some acne ridden teenager because he's managed to buy a set of fake fangs and squirt tomato ketchup in and around his mouth. The little shits will be getting nothing from me, ever.
So my plea to the whole of the United Kingdom (which will somewhat be in vain because I know that only 3 people read this blog) is to stop celebrating Halloween, put more emphasis on Bonfire night instead, a night which actually has some cultural and historical relevance to us all.
(Even though for most of you, culture is defined as which drug-dealer you use or where you like to go to get absolutely rat-arsed and beat up your wife, and History is defined as who you shagged up the arse last week, you fucking Phillistines.)
Tuesday 27 October 2009
My Life; Without Football Manager
So that time of year's rolling around again!
No, I'm not talking about Christmas or even the new year, I'm talking about Football Manager's release date. Friday the 30th of October 2010 to be precice; The day that I'll lose 2 friends to the lure of a PC football management game (as the game's title suggests).
Phil and Alex are both taking charge of Harrogate Town (Up the Sulphurites!) and hopefully taking them all the way to the top of the Premiership, and maybe even Europe. They'll both be blogging their progress, Alex's will be here:
http://alexbrfc-fm-blog.blogspot.com/
and Phil's will be... well, I'm sure once Phil gets round to it there'll be a link on Alex's page.
But in the spirit of not being left out I thought I might start blogging a bit more regularly (who needs a degree anyway?)
Who knows, I might even blog about some of the games I've been addicted to, it'll be something for Phil and Al to read once Harrogate have their hands on the Champions League Trophy.
I would start now, but I just saw a German film with breasts in it, so I have to go and reminisce! Bye!
No, I'm not talking about Christmas or even the new year, I'm talking about Football Manager's release date. Friday the 30th of October 2010 to be precice; The day that I'll lose 2 friends to the lure of a PC football management game (as the game's title suggests).
Phil and Alex are both taking charge of Harrogate Town (Up the Sulphurites!) and hopefully taking them all the way to the top of the Premiership, and maybe even Europe. They'll both be blogging their progress, Alex's will be here:
http://alexbrfc-fm-blog.blogspot.com/
and Phil's will be... well, I'm sure once Phil gets round to it there'll be a link on Alex's page.
But in the spirit of not being left out I thought I might start blogging a bit more regularly (who needs a degree anyway?)
Who knows, I might even blog about some of the games I've been addicted to, it'll be something for Phil and Al to read once Harrogate have their hands on the Champions League Trophy.
I would start now, but I just saw a German film with breasts in it, so I have to go and reminisce! Bye!
Friday 4 September 2009
The Not So Mighty Black and Whites
I'm currently sat with my laptop on my knee downstairs watching Leeds vs St Helens in the super league, which has always been a big game. It's a typical Friday night; Mum's reading a book, my brother's just going to bed and Jamie's sat screaming at the referee for no apparent reason. There's already been one break away, a fantastic try-saving tackle, a sin binning and a disallowed try. It just makes me wonder what's happened to my team: the once great Hull FC. 3 years ago they were riding high. They'd won the challenge cup in the most dramatic of fashions in 2005 and had a dream season in 2006, making it all the way to the Grand final, only losing out to the then unstoppable St Helens.
Fast Forward to the present and Hull FC have finished outside of the playoff bracket for the second year in a row. 2008 saw them finish as the 2nd worst team in the league and 2009 doesn't promise to be much better. So why the sudden turn around in fortunes?
Well, the first (and most obvious reason) is the decline in quality of the playing squad. Over the last few seasons FC have had a strange fetish for so called 'utility' players, meaning that they've been bringing in players who can cover multiple positions in case of injury etc. This has however left the team without specialist players. As much as it pains me to say it, they've never replaced Paul Cooke. Also, letting Shaun Briscoe move to the dark side is one of the worst decisions ever made at the club. Again it was a decision taken because Briscoe was not enough of a 'utility player' but now we've been left without a recognised full back while Briscoe works magic for Hull KR.
Signings like Chris Thorman just show how much of a backward step the club is taking. Instead of signing Michael Dobson when they had the opportunity, the club opted to let him join Hull KR and instead signed a player who was not good enough to play half back for Huddersfield. He waddle's like a duck and is a geordie, why would anyone in their right mind sign him?!
The Second major reason; the lack of a good coach and backroom staff. Richard Agar is an assistant coach at best yet he's in charge of the first team with another Huddersfield reject: John Sharpe.
Third of all, the passion has gone. The players don't play with pride which means in turn that the crowd are less enthusiastic. It's like nobody wants to be there anymore.
All in all it's a bit of a shit situation, and I don't know why we, the fans bother anymore.
Oh and I'm sorry that I've had to vent my anger on here on a subject that most of you have little or no interest in. I just thought it'd be better if I put it in writing! What a surprise, we're losing 10-6 at half time to Wigan...
Fast Forward to the present and Hull FC have finished outside of the playoff bracket for the second year in a row. 2008 saw them finish as the 2nd worst team in the league and 2009 doesn't promise to be much better. So why the sudden turn around in fortunes?
Well, the first (and most obvious reason) is the decline in quality of the playing squad. Over the last few seasons FC have had a strange fetish for so called 'utility' players, meaning that they've been bringing in players who can cover multiple positions in case of injury etc. This has however left the team without specialist players. As much as it pains me to say it, they've never replaced Paul Cooke. Also, letting Shaun Briscoe move to the dark side is one of the worst decisions ever made at the club. Again it was a decision taken because Briscoe was not enough of a 'utility player' but now we've been left without a recognised full back while Briscoe works magic for Hull KR.
Signings like Chris Thorman just show how much of a backward step the club is taking. Instead of signing Michael Dobson when they had the opportunity, the club opted to let him join Hull KR and instead signed a player who was not good enough to play half back for Huddersfield. He waddle's like a duck and is a geordie, why would anyone in their right mind sign him?!
The Second major reason; the lack of a good coach and backroom staff. Richard Agar is an assistant coach at best yet he's in charge of the first team with another Huddersfield reject: John Sharpe.
Third of all, the passion has gone. The players don't play with pride which means in turn that the crowd are less enthusiastic. It's like nobody wants to be there anymore.
All in all it's a bit of a shit situation, and I don't know why we, the fans bother anymore.
Oh and I'm sorry that I've had to vent my anger on here on a subject that most of you have little or no interest in. I just thought it'd be better if I put it in writing! What a surprise, we're losing 10-6 at half time to Wigan...
Thursday 13 August 2009
Thinking Thursday
Today was the day that I ran out of things to do.
My last exam was at the beginning of June and the last 2 and a half months have melted away. Don't get me wrong I've had a brilliant time but it's gone way too fast. I don't think life will ever be this care-free again and it sucks.
This time in 10 years I could be married. Obviously I'd need to find a girl first, and at this rate it's not likely because Karma isn't my friend but the thought's still really scary.
This time in 10 years I'll be worrying about turning 30, not 20 and my dad will be pushing 60. No doubt I'll be working 9-5 all week and all my hopes and dreams will have been smashed. Ah well, I might not even live that long. I'll just have to make the most of it wont I?
My last exam was at the beginning of June and the last 2 and a half months have melted away. Don't get me wrong I've had a brilliant time but it's gone way too fast. I don't think life will ever be this care-free again and it sucks.
This time in 10 years I could be married. Obviously I'd need to find a girl first, and at this rate it's not likely because Karma isn't my friend but the thought's still really scary.
This time in 10 years I'll be worrying about turning 30, not 20 and my dad will be pushing 60. No doubt I'll be working 9-5 all week and all my hopes and dreams will have been smashed. Ah well, I might not even live that long. I'll just have to make the most of it wont I?
Sunday 9 August 2009
Gran Canaria Blog
So, 2 guys go on holiday alone, kinda gay huh? SHUT UP! THIS IS THE 21st CENTURY, GET OVER YOURSELF!
Ok, so that’s that over with (for now). This blog will be a little different and will probably only be enjoyed by me and Phil, but screw the rest of you ‘cause I’m writing it anyway.
Me and Señor Bexley had a very subdued ride to the airport, mainly because my step-dad decided that he’d listen to the Cricket commentary on the radio for the full journey. Now, Cricket’s boring on TV, but radio cricket is like a mild sedative. I zoned out for 2 hours and forgot who I was. Infact at one point I think I actually thought I was Andrew Flintoff. Therefore you can imagine our relief when we finally got to the airport to check in. We had a little mis-hap when Phil forgot that pasties aren’t allowed in your hand-luggage. The poor guy had packed 5 steak slices and 2 Cornish pasties which he had to throw away, such a waste!
After being charged £9 for a Burger in the airport Phil became a little irate and tipped all of the sugar out of the bowl although he said it was an accident.
Perhaps it was the guy who when questioned as to why he was cutting infront of the 4 person long queue for security with his wife answered with, “Yes, I’ve paid for the fast lane” who really fucked with Phil’s head because I know it did with mine. The guy was taking pride in the fact that he’d probably paid an extra £50 so that he could be a smug twat and push past 4 people, which made it SO satisfying when Phil and I strolled through to the departure lounge before the smug bastard had even put his belt back on.
Sooner or later we actually arrived in Gran Canaria and were greeted by a wonderfully mongy holiday rep called Jodie, which wasn’t a pretty sight at 2am. Surprise surprise: she was from Hull, possibly the mongo capital of the world. ‘Our Jodie’ as she became known showed us to our hotel, The Altamar, which was fine except we’d been given the room right at the bottom and had to take the world’s smallest, most illogical lift at 3am to get to it and then find it in the dark.
Other than that, the hotel was generally fine. The view was great, Taxis to the main centre cost less than 5 Euros and it had 2 massive pools. The night that I melted into a puddle because of my broken fan was far from pleasant though and we only had 1 channel on the TV: Eurosport. So over the course of the week we both became experts in Cycling (BRADLEY WIGGINS!), Diving (TOM DALEY!) and erm... well, that was it all week really! We just sat back and ate and drank questionable produce e.g. Chorizo and ‘Bati’ strawberry milk. Phil particularly liked the bati.
Other activities which took place in our room included: Rubbing sun cream into each other’s backs, smelling our fragrant fridge, having slightly homo-erotic pistachio fights, pretending to be a velocoraptor, and flashing the full resort of Puerto Rico (The last 2 were just Phil’s).
So did they just stay in the apartment for a full week acting like special children you ask? Not quite, but one incident in particular makes me wish I had. We went over to a club called ‘Cream’ in Playa de Inglés one night for some party times. The drinks were 2 for 1 and within about 10 minutes I’d downed approximately 4 double vodka and cokes, not good. Fast forward 10 minutes and I’m having a race across the dance-floor on a space hopper with some girl, the prize being a shot of sambuca. Being how I am, I fell face first off the thing but still managed to win the race. I then proceeded to buy more sambuca because it was only 1 Euro a shot.
I’m not going into too much detail but let’s just say that I ended up pulling a right porker from Oldham (whose name I can’t remember) and then doing some things on a bus that I’m not proud of with a girl called Charlotte.
Moving On! Other things that we did were:
Mini-golf, we played twice and both won one each. Pardraig Harrington would be proud.
Eating tonnes of food. Especially me, I actually ate Old McDonald’s farm one night in the form of a mixed grill, I felt so ill afterwards.
We went to Aqualand, a waterpark with an awesome lazy river and obviously suffered from the age old problem of dealing with a scorching hot floor in bare feet, but all was made better when we saw possibly the most pert Spanish lady in history. The image of her goddess like ‘Tatty Bojangles’ will be forever etched into mine and Phil’s consciousnesses.
We rented a pedelo one day (jet-skis were too expensive) and nearly got destroyed by an oncoming ferry .
We took a trip on a Catamaran on the Friday out into the ocean which was good. We got off to swim for a bit which was fun until I realised I couldn’t tread water for more than 5 minutes and the water below me was 50 meters deep, but I survived and it was a good day!
Anyway I’m not gonna carry on detailing every single aspect of the holiday. I’m just gonna say it was a week very well spent with one of my best mates (even if he is sometimes a dinosaur).
So when the time came to go home, we packed up our stuff and left the chorizo in the fridge for the cleaner to enjoy. We managed to pass 2 minutes on the plane journey home trying to name the full ground-force team. We had Titchmarsh and Charlie ‘no bra’ Dimmock straight away but for some reason Tommy Walsh evaded us. Ah well, now we know!
Ok, so that’s that over with (for now). This blog will be a little different and will probably only be enjoyed by me and Phil, but screw the rest of you ‘cause I’m writing it anyway.
Me and Señor Bexley had a very subdued ride to the airport, mainly because my step-dad decided that he’d listen to the Cricket commentary on the radio for the full journey. Now, Cricket’s boring on TV, but radio cricket is like a mild sedative. I zoned out for 2 hours and forgot who I was. Infact at one point I think I actually thought I was Andrew Flintoff. Therefore you can imagine our relief when we finally got to the airport to check in. We had a little mis-hap when Phil forgot that pasties aren’t allowed in your hand-luggage. The poor guy had packed 5 steak slices and 2 Cornish pasties which he had to throw away, such a waste!
After being charged £9 for a Burger in the airport Phil became a little irate and tipped all of the sugar out of the bowl although he said it was an accident.
Perhaps it was the guy who when questioned as to why he was cutting infront of the 4 person long queue for security with his wife answered with, “Yes, I’ve paid for the fast lane” who really fucked with Phil’s head because I know it did with mine. The guy was taking pride in the fact that he’d probably paid an extra £50 so that he could be a smug twat and push past 4 people, which made it SO satisfying when Phil and I strolled through to the departure lounge before the smug bastard had even put his belt back on.
Sooner or later we actually arrived in Gran Canaria and were greeted by a wonderfully mongy holiday rep called Jodie, which wasn’t a pretty sight at 2am. Surprise surprise: she was from Hull, possibly the mongo capital of the world. ‘Our Jodie’ as she became known showed us to our hotel, The Altamar, which was fine except we’d been given the room right at the bottom and had to take the world’s smallest, most illogical lift at 3am to get to it and then find it in the dark.
Other than that, the hotel was generally fine. The view was great, Taxis to the main centre cost less than 5 Euros and it had 2 massive pools. The night that I melted into a puddle because of my broken fan was far from pleasant though and we only had 1 channel on the TV: Eurosport. So over the course of the week we both became experts in Cycling (BRADLEY WIGGINS!), Diving (TOM DALEY!) and erm... well, that was it all week really! We just sat back and ate and drank questionable produce e.g. Chorizo and ‘Bati’ strawberry milk. Phil particularly liked the bati.
Other activities which took place in our room included: Rubbing sun cream into each other’s backs, smelling our fragrant fridge, having slightly homo-erotic pistachio fights, pretending to be a velocoraptor, and flashing the full resort of Puerto Rico (The last 2 were just Phil’s).
So did they just stay in the apartment for a full week acting like special children you ask? Not quite, but one incident in particular makes me wish I had. We went over to a club called ‘Cream’ in Playa de Inglés one night for some party times. The drinks were 2 for 1 and within about 10 minutes I’d downed approximately 4 double vodka and cokes, not good. Fast forward 10 minutes and I’m having a race across the dance-floor on a space hopper with some girl, the prize being a shot of sambuca. Being how I am, I fell face first off the thing but still managed to win the race. I then proceeded to buy more sambuca because it was only 1 Euro a shot.
I’m not going into too much detail but let’s just say that I ended up pulling a right porker from Oldham (whose name I can’t remember) and then doing some things on a bus that I’m not proud of with a girl called Charlotte.
Moving On! Other things that we did were:
Mini-golf, we played twice and both won one each. Pardraig Harrington would be proud.
Eating tonnes of food. Especially me, I actually ate Old McDonald’s farm one night in the form of a mixed grill, I felt so ill afterwards.
We went to Aqualand, a waterpark with an awesome lazy river and obviously suffered from the age old problem of dealing with a scorching hot floor in bare feet, but all was made better when we saw possibly the most pert Spanish lady in history. The image of her goddess like ‘Tatty Bojangles’ will be forever etched into mine and Phil’s consciousnesses.
We rented a pedelo one day (jet-skis were too expensive) and nearly got destroyed by an oncoming ferry .
We took a trip on a Catamaran on the Friday out into the ocean which was good. We got off to swim for a bit which was fun until I realised I couldn’t tread water for more than 5 minutes and the water below me was 50 meters deep, but I survived and it was a good day!
Anyway I’m not gonna carry on detailing every single aspect of the holiday. I’m just gonna say it was a week very well spent with one of my best mates (even if he is sometimes a dinosaur).
So when the time came to go home, we packed up our stuff and left the chorizo in the fridge for the cleaner to enjoy. We managed to pass 2 minutes on the plane journey home trying to name the full ground-force team. We had Titchmarsh and Charlie ‘no bra’ Dimmock straight away but for some reason Tommy Walsh evaded us. Ah well, now we know!
Monday 13 July 2009
The Irate Blog
I'm not a violent person. You probably know this. I'm the type of guy who would call someone a twat, throw a shoe at them and then run away instead of fight, but the past couple of hours have just made me want to punch someone/something.
I wont elaborate otherwise my laptop might find itself in pieces in the garden :)
I wont elaborate otherwise my laptop might find itself in pieces in the garden :)
Friday 10 July 2009
The Inevitable Response To Al B's Opinions
As I detailed in the last blog, Alex and I had a sort of playlist showdown on Spotify, and really, who in their right mind would think that would be the end of it?! I just needed to clear up a few points.
Firstly, I think we're all in agreement that I have an unhealthy need for late 70s/80s rock. I'm not denying it but just wanted to show that I don't just sit all day in a darkened room listening to Rush and Journey, I also sit in a darkened room listening to slightly more modern music (sometimes).
Oh and I liked the songs before Guitar Hero did, the guys at Guitar Hero just have good taste! Kudos to Alex on liking Reel Big Fish and Less Than Jake. I think we've both come away from this experiment with a slightly more varied music taste. I know I'll be checking out more of Gym Class Heroes, Dan le Sac and Scroobius Pip and also Rilo Kiley. We've both learned something!
Something which really surprised me about Alex's playlist was that a lot of the songs sounded really similar, something which Alex also said about mine. The word generic was used an awful lot on both sets of reviews, but I'm sure if you asked either one of us about our own playlists we'd swear that they weren't. I suppose it's just a case of what you're used to, and nothing will ever change it.
Going into this experiment, my ultimate aim was to convert Alex into a genuine Rock-a-holic, and I'm sure he expected me to come out of it a changed man, but I've definitely realised that there's no way to change anyone's music taste. A song that's absolute garbage to one guy is a musical gem to another. Foo Fighters being a stand out example; I love them, I'm not ashamed to say that I'd love to spoon with Dave Grohl while listening to DOA, but they don't do anything for Alex. Music taste is so diverse and I'm just glad that our music taste crosses over at some points and we can both agree that bands such as Nickelback, RHCP and the Stereophonics are all fantastic! Long Live King Chad!
P.S. Gwen Stefani really is quite hot and cold isn't she? Who in their right mind would wanna do 'the nasty' with a fried egg?
Firstly, I think we're all in agreement that I have an unhealthy need for late 70s/80s rock. I'm not denying it but just wanted to show that I don't just sit all day in a darkened room listening to Rush and Journey, I also sit in a darkened room listening to slightly more modern music (sometimes).
Oh and I liked the songs before Guitar Hero did, the guys at Guitar Hero just have good taste! Kudos to Alex on liking Reel Big Fish and Less Than Jake. I think we've both come away from this experiment with a slightly more varied music taste. I know I'll be checking out more of Gym Class Heroes, Dan le Sac and Scroobius Pip and also Rilo Kiley. We've both learned something!
Something which really surprised me about Alex's playlist was that a lot of the songs sounded really similar, something which Alex also said about mine. The word generic was used an awful lot on both sets of reviews, but I'm sure if you asked either one of us about our own playlists we'd swear that they weren't. I suppose it's just a case of what you're used to, and nothing will ever change it.
Going into this experiment, my ultimate aim was to convert Alex into a genuine Rock-a-holic, and I'm sure he expected me to come out of it a changed man, but I've definitely realised that there's no way to change anyone's music taste. A song that's absolute garbage to one guy is a musical gem to another. Foo Fighters being a stand out example; I love them, I'm not ashamed to say that I'd love to spoon with Dave Grohl while listening to DOA, but they don't do anything for Alex. Music taste is so diverse and I'm just glad that our music taste crosses over at some points and we can both agree that bands such as Nickelback, RHCP and the Stereophonics are all fantastic! Long Live King Chad!
P.S. Gwen Stefani really is quite hot and cold isn't she? Who in their right mind would wanna do 'the nasty' with a fried egg?
Thursday 9 July 2009
The Great Spotify Experiment
Let me give you some background...
Mr Alex Blackburne is forever going on at me about my music taste. Insults such as ‘80s Boy’ have been thrown at me and frankly I’d had enough. I will admit to a slightly unhealthy desire to occasionally listen to Duran Duran, but that’s all it is, occasional. So I pointed out that Alex’s taste wasn’t exactly perfect (He has a Five megamix on his iPod) and challenged him to make a 40 track playlist which represented the bare bones of his music taste and said I’d do the same, then we’d swap. This Blog will give you a track by track review and then probably some form of GCSE science style conclusion.
So here we go!
Breaking Up – Rilo Kiley: A promising start, was singing backing by the time the 2nd chorus came around.
Rubber Love – Marmaduke Duke: Heard it before on the radio, can’t really argue with pop. Like it
Our Bovine Public – The Cribs: Very Wellyesque, can’t say I really buy into it, quite catchy though.
MGMT – Kids: Bores me, excellent when I’m too drunk to think but otherwise has no place on my iPod.
Oxford Comma – Vampire Weekend: The beginning reminds me of music you expect to hear in a Hotel lobby or lift. Not liking the anti-grammar based lyrics.
I’m not alone – Calvin Harris: Don’t like the guy but one of his more bearable songs, didn’t mind it.
Tribulations – LCD Soundsystem: Bored me a bit. Faded into the background.
Inaction – We are Scientists: Were good when I saw them at Ice Arena live but the studio stuff appears to be very average.
Encore – Jay Z: Once it’s been mixed with Linkin Park the original pales in significance.
Love Foolosophy - Jamiroquai: Reminds me of being about 10. Love the uniqueness. A classic.
Amylase – Cajun Dance Party: A song named after an enzyme that breaks down food? (thank you A-level Biology) Not original enough.
Spotify Ad: Oh wait...
Reptilia – The Strokes: Already love this song, just how far into the 80s does Al B think I’m embedded?
Moving to New York – The Wombats: Again, already on my iPod. Like the erratic bass-line.
You owe me an IOU – Hot Hot Heat: Didn’t anjoy it as much as Al B expected I would. Not the Best HHH around ;-)
Come Running – Darren Styles: Promising start but the dance crap killed it. Like a Scooter/Willy Mason cross breed.
Dawn of Dead – Does it offend you, yeah?: I don’t understand, it did offend me a tiny bit.
New Friend Request – Gym Class Heroes: FINALLY! A song about myspace and the politics of adding people. Never given them a chance before but maybe I should. Afterall, that’s what this experiment is all about.
2 Atoms in a molecule – Noah and the Whale: Short and sweet (Y)
More Than Words – Extreme: Would be more at place on my playlist, a classic.
Pink Sabbath – Danananananananananananananaykroyd: Listen to either War Pigs or Paranoid by BLACK Sabbath for a demonstration of why Black beats Pink.
Terra Firma – The Young Knives: Guy’s voice annoyed me.
Leave it Alone – Operator Please: Not really for me.
In for the Kill (Remix) – La Roux: Crap Voice, too slow. Don’t mind the original though.
Cath... – Death Cab for Cutie: Decent Voice, might give them a try!
Touch the Sky – Kanye West: I’m not racist, but... (I’m joking) I actually liked this, which surprised me.
Thank You – Sly and the family Stone: Play that funky music white boy.
Apply Some Pressure, Maximo Park: Liked it.
Somebody, Somewhere – Cazals: Quirky and upbeat, very catchy.
Do You Feel – Rocket Summer: Sound similar to Fall Out Boy, except FOB do it with a bit more feeling.
Letter from God to Man – Dan le Sac and Scroobius Pip: Very Unique, Al B raves about them. The lyrics make the song, which is the idea. Will be listening to these more.
Beautiful Girls – Sean Kingston: How alex can rag me for listening to cheese is beyond belief, this might aswell be Las Ketchup
If you’re out there – John Legend: Too downbeat and slow.
3 ad: damn, done it again. But still, how will free skype to skype calls help me when my phone never works?
Paranoid Android – Radiohead: Songs this long need to be epic, this wasn’t.
I Remember – Deadmau5, Kaskade: Not bad.
Clouds – Rumble Strips: Reminds me of the Benny Hill theme tune.
I Love College – Asher Roth: 2 songs come to mind; ‘Because I got High’ and ‘Heaven is a Halfpipe’. Laid Back, like it.
Out of the Question – Mumm-ra: Sure I’ve heard something very similar on this playlist already.
Around the World – Daft Punk: Prefer the Chilis song of the same name. In dire need of a shorter version! But otherwise good.
Banquet – Bloc Party: I automatically like songs which have been on Fifa, so this gets a thumbs up!
Well, that’s it! It’s been a bit of an eye-opener. Some of the stuff I would never have heard if it hadn’t been for this ‘experiment’ and it’s been quite beneficial. Some songs I loved, some I didn’t, but that was what it was all about. Here’s hoping that Alex has enjoyed it as much as I have!
Mr Alex Blackburne is forever going on at me about my music taste. Insults such as ‘80s Boy’ have been thrown at me and frankly I’d had enough. I will admit to a slightly unhealthy desire to occasionally listen to Duran Duran, but that’s all it is, occasional. So I pointed out that Alex’s taste wasn’t exactly perfect (He has a Five megamix on his iPod) and challenged him to make a 40 track playlist which represented the bare bones of his music taste and said I’d do the same, then we’d swap. This Blog will give you a track by track review and then probably some form of GCSE science style conclusion.
So here we go!
Breaking Up – Rilo Kiley: A promising start, was singing backing by the time the 2nd chorus came around.
Rubber Love – Marmaduke Duke: Heard it before on the radio, can’t really argue with pop. Like it
Our Bovine Public – The Cribs: Very Wellyesque, can’t say I really buy into it, quite catchy though.
MGMT – Kids: Bores me, excellent when I’m too drunk to think but otherwise has no place on my iPod.
Oxford Comma – Vampire Weekend: The beginning reminds me of music you expect to hear in a Hotel lobby or lift. Not liking the anti-grammar based lyrics.
I’m not alone – Calvin Harris: Don’t like the guy but one of his more bearable songs, didn’t mind it.
Tribulations – LCD Soundsystem: Bored me a bit. Faded into the background.
Inaction – We are Scientists: Were good when I saw them at Ice Arena live but the studio stuff appears to be very average.
Encore – Jay Z: Once it’s been mixed with Linkin Park the original pales in significance.
Love Foolosophy - Jamiroquai: Reminds me of being about 10. Love the uniqueness. A classic.
Amylase – Cajun Dance Party: A song named after an enzyme that breaks down food? (thank you A-level Biology) Not original enough.
Spotify Ad: Oh wait...
Reptilia – The Strokes: Already love this song, just how far into the 80s does Al B think I’m embedded?
Moving to New York – The Wombats: Again, already on my iPod. Like the erratic bass-line.
You owe me an IOU – Hot Hot Heat: Didn’t anjoy it as much as Al B expected I would. Not the Best HHH around ;-)
Come Running – Darren Styles: Promising start but the dance crap killed it. Like a Scooter/Willy Mason cross breed.
Dawn of Dead – Does it offend you, yeah?: I don’t understand, it did offend me a tiny bit.
New Friend Request – Gym Class Heroes: FINALLY! A song about myspace and the politics of adding people. Never given them a chance before but maybe I should. Afterall, that’s what this experiment is all about.
2 Atoms in a molecule – Noah and the Whale: Short and sweet (Y)
More Than Words – Extreme: Would be more at place on my playlist, a classic.
Pink Sabbath – Danananananananananananananaykroyd: Listen to either War Pigs or Paranoid by BLACK Sabbath for a demonstration of why Black beats Pink.
Terra Firma – The Young Knives: Guy’s voice annoyed me.
Leave it Alone – Operator Please: Not really for me.
In for the Kill (Remix) – La Roux: Crap Voice, too slow. Don’t mind the original though.
Cath... – Death Cab for Cutie: Decent Voice, might give them a try!
Touch the Sky – Kanye West: I’m not racist, but... (I’m joking) I actually liked this, which surprised me.
Thank You – Sly and the family Stone: Play that funky music white boy.
Apply Some Pressure, Maximo Park: Liked it.
Somebody, Somewhere – Cazals: Quirky and upbeat, very catchy.
Do You Feel – Rocket Summer: Sound similar to Fall Out Boy, except FOB do it with a bit more feeling.
Letter from God to Man – Dan le Sac and Scroobius Pip: Very Unique, Al B raves about them. The lyrics make the song, which is the idea. Will be listening to these more.
Beautiful Girls – Sean Kingston: How alex can rag me for listening to cheese is beyond belief, this might aswell be Las Ketchup
If you’re out there – John Legend: Too downbeat and slow.
3 ad: damn, done it again. But still, how will free skype to skype calls help me when my phone never works?
Paranoid Android – Radiohead: Songs this long need to be epic, this wasn’t.
I Remember – Deadmau5, Kaskade: Not bad.
Clouds – Rumble Strips: Reminds me of the Benny Hill theme tune.
I Love College – Asher Roth: 2 songs come to mind; ‘Because I got High’ and ‘Heaven is a Halfpipe’. Laid Back, like it.
Out of the Question – Mumm-ra: Sure I’ve heard something very similar on this playlist already.
Around the World – Daft Punk: Prefer the Chilis song of the same name. In dire need of a shorter version! But otherwise good.
Banquet – Bloc Party: I automatically like songs which have been on Fifa, so this gets a thumbs up!
Well, that’s it! It’s been a bit of an eye-opener. Some of the stuff I would never have heard if it hadn’t been for this ‘experiment’ and it’s been quite beneficial. Some songs I loved, some I didn’t, but that was what it was all about. Here’s hoping that Alex has enjoyed it as much as I have!
Sunday 5 July 2009
Empty
I'm not even gonna apologise for not blogging. I've just read the last few I've written and I've apologised in every single one. So I feel it's becoming a bit pointless.
So on with the blogging we go!
The past few days I've woken up feeling somewhat empty, for which I can only offer 2 explanations:
1) I've recently cut back on the amount of food I'm eating (which would literally make me more empty)
OR 2) I have 4 months off from Uni and I feel like like my life is as pointless as a C&G employee trying for a promotion (Sorry Callie!)
Either way I need to start doing something. Very little in the outside world would change if I stayed in bed for the full week (except possibly a couple of angry phone-calls from work). Originally I promised myself that I'd make the most of my time but once again it's slipping away while I accomplish next to nothing so I'm gonna write a list here and publish it so I have to stick to things. These are the 5 things I'm starting with:
i) Stop being a boring bastard and go out more
ii) actually use the gym that I pay £29 a month for more than once a month
iii) be ready for Uni in October
iv) Stop eating when bored. It was never really a problem before but now I'm bored 24/7 and am getting a bit of a podge
v) lose the pogde!
There we go, 5 step plans solve everything. No doubt I'll blog in 3 months time telling you I've failed but at least I'm taking positive steps!
Moving on! I was recently introduced to Spotify and consequently a wealth of music both modern and, well, 80s. Which has obviously done wonders for my reputation as the guy who should have been born 20 years earlier but I don't care. Such classics as AC/DC, Thin Lizzy and Black Sabbath mixed with bands like the Offspring, Sum 41 and Faith No More have given me a much needed break from the crap that's usually on Radio 1.
Ok, I'm bored already so instead of carrying on with the blog I'm gonna link you to this website: http://thereifixedit.com/
P.S. If anyone knows where my black Puma top is please let me know. I miss it dearly.
So on with the blogging we go!
The past few days I've woken up feeling somewhat empty, for which I can only offer 2 explanations:
1) I've recently cut back on the amount of food I'm eating (which would literally make me more empty)
OR 2) I have 4 months off from Uni and I feel like like my life is as pointless as a C&G employee trying for a promotion (Sorry Callie!)
Either way I need to start doing something. Very little in the outside world would change if I stayed in bed for the full week (except possibly a couple of angry phone-calls from work). Originally I promised myself that I'd make the most of my time but once again it's slipping away while I accomplish next to nothing so I'm gonna write a list here and publish it so I have to stick to things. These are the 5 things I'm starting with:
i) Stop being a boring bastard and go out more
ii) actually use the gym that I pay £29 a month for more than once a month
iii) be ready for Uni in October
iv) Stop eating when bored. It was never really a problem before but now I'm bored 24/7 and am getting a bit of a podge
v) lose the pogde!
There we go, 5 step plans solve everything. No doubt I'll blog in 3 months time telling you I've failed but at least I'm taking positive steps!
Moving on! I was recently introduced to Spotify and consequently a wealth of music both modern and, well, 80s. Which has obviously done wonders for my reputation as the guy who should have been born 20 years earlier but I don't care. Such classics as AC/DC, Thin Lizzy and Black Sabbath mixed with bands like the Offspring, Sum 41 and Faith No More have given me a much needed break from the crap that's usually on Radio 1.
Ok, I'm bored already so instead of carrying on with the blog I'm gonna link you to this website: http://thereifixedit.com/
P.S. If anyone knows where my black Puma top is please let me know. I miss it dearly.
Wednesday 6 May 2009
The Blog which Ends Abruptly
I know this has been a long time coming, and Rosie, I apologise! But I really haven't had the energy.
It's not that the Student life's hard work or challenging in any way, but you kind of get used to doing nothing, and writing a regular blog was one of the things which I had to postpone in order to fulfil my daily slobbery needs. Other sacrifices include: the gym, eating a healthy diet, maintaining regular hygiene and changing my bed sheets.
I'm sure you're thrilled to know that.
So it's exam time soon, and lately I've been revising to the sound of Nickelback and 1970s Rock and Roll. Thin Lizzy - Jailbreak is a classic and some of Nickelback's Lyrics have seen me look like a total prick infront of strangers in the street by giggling to myself on the way home from work, (I kid you not, it did happen)
I guess it wasn't really right
I guess it wasn't meant to be
It didn't matter what they said
'Cause we were good in bed
I guess I stuck around so I could watch us fight
for all the wrong reasons
No, it didn't matter what I tried
It's just a little hard to leave
When you're going down on me
I guess I stuck around so I could watch us fight
for all the wrong reasons
Is that not the best lyric writing in the world?
It's not that the Student life's hard work or challenging in any way, but you kind of get used to doing nothing, and writing a regular blog was one of the things which I had to postpone in order to fulfil my daily slobbery needs. Other sacrifices include: the gym, eating a healthy diet, maintaining regular hygiene and changing my bed sheets.
I'm sure you're thrilled to know that.
So it's exam time soon, and lately I've been revising to the sound of Nickelback and 1970s Rock and Roll. Thin Lizzy - Jailbreak is a classic and some of Nickelback's Lyrics have seen me look like a total prick infront of strangers in the street by giggling to myself on the way home from work, (I kid you not, it did happen)
I guess it wasn't really right
I guess it wasn't meant to be
It didn't matter what they said
'Cause we were good in bed
I guess I stuck around so I could watch us fight
for all the wrong reasons
No, it didn't matter what I tried
It's just a little hard to leave
When you're going down on me
I guess I stuck around so I could watch us fight
for all the wrong reasons
Is that not the best lyric writing in the world?
Sunday 1 February 2009
The Blog which Ends Abruptly
Tomorrow is my first day back at University after Christmas after 5 weeks off. I bloody love the Student life!
This time of year's always a bit depressing. An 11 Month wait til Christmas and to make matters worse I turn 20 this year. It's not good. I'm barely mature enough to be a teenager, never mind an adult. I still giggle like a schoolgirl if someone has a funny last name, ('Woodcock' being a brilliant example) and I also still religiously watch Nickelodeon. Ah well.At least I don't live in Zimbabwe.
Why Zimbabwe you ask? Well, really just so I can post this picture of what 100 Billion Zimbabwean Dollars would buy you:
Oh and also this one, just because I can:
This time of year's always a bit depressing. An 11 Month wait til Christmas and to make matters worse I turn 20 this year. It's not good. I'm barely mature enough to be a teenager, never mind an adult. I still giggle like a schoolgirl if someone has a funny last name, ('Woodcock' being a brilliant example) and I also still religiously watch Nickelodeon. Ah well.At least I don't live in Zimbabwe.
Why Zimbabwe you ask? Well, really just so I can post this picture of what 100 Billion Zimbabwean Dollars would buy you:
Oh and also this one, just because I can:
Friday 16 January 2009
The Naked Blog (Not for the faint hearted)
Ever had a day where you feel like you've accomplished absolutly nothing?
Well I had one today and I have to say it was fantastic.
For the last 4 days I've been spending most of my time writing possibly the least interesting essay ever known to mankind: 'The Significance of the 1848 Revolution on the development of Modern Germany'.
WOOHOO! erm... well not really, it has driven me to levels of boredom which I thought only existed in ancient myth and at star trek conventions. Some time during yesterday afternoon's bore-fest I spent a good half hour putting super glue on my finger and watching it dry, and then peeling it off. I even drew up mental plans for a new shelf to house my never-ending DVD collection. I hope that this information is really emphasising the fact that I've been BORED. Nobody ever does DIY when they have better things to do!
I even cooked (although I don't know if you can count egg and beans as cooking.) Just One piece of advice for everyone: Never cook foods that spatter when you're only wearing your underwear, it's painful and unpleasant and there's always the possibility that you might end up frying something else... Something that only John Barrowman would eat.
While I'm on the topic of matters below the belt, I had a crisis this morning when I was getting dressed. There was no underwear left in my drawer. What would you do in that situation?
would you:
a) Go without
b) fashion some makeshift boxers from old newspapers
c) Wear yesterday's pair inside out
d) Borrow a pair of your brothers spiderman y-fronts
or
e) Go back to bed and forget about clothes for the day altogether?
Let me know what you'd do. (if you pick D, I'm ringing the police)
Well I had one today and I have to say it was fantastic.
For the last 4 days I've been spending most of my time writing possibly the least interesting essay ever known to mankind: 'The Significance of the 1848 Revolution on the development of Modern Germany'.
WOOHOO! erm... well not really, it has driven me to levels of boredom which I thought only existed in ancient myth and at star trek conventions. Some time during yesterday afternoon's bore-fest I spent a good half hour putting super glue on my finger and watching it dry, and then peeling it off. I even drew up mental plans for a new shelf to house my never-ending DVD collection. I hope that this information is really emphasising the fact that I've been BORED. Nobody ever does DIY when they have better things to do!
I even cooked (although I don't know if you can count egg and beans as cooking.) Just One piece of advice for everyone: Never cook foods that spatter when you're only wearing your underwear, it's painful and unpleasant and there's always the possibility that you might end up frying something else... Something that only John Barrowman would eat.
While I'm on the topic of matters below the belt, I had a crisis this morning when I was getting dressed. There was no underwear left in my drawer. What would you do in that situation?
would you:
a) Go without
b) fashion some makeshift boxers from old newspapers
c) Wear yesterday's pair inside out
d) Borrow a pair of your brothers spiderman y-fronts
or
e) Go back to bed and forget about clothes for the day altogether?
Let me know what you'd do. (if you pick D, I'm ringing the police)
Sunday 4 January 2009
An Apology
Dear Blog Fan,
I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to you about the lack of blogness recently. I'm sure if you'd have been that bothered you'd have complained. So I'll just get down to it shall I?
About a week before Christmas my family all got Leprosy, including me. It was horrible and subsequently ruined my birthday. Instead of going to bed at 4am after drinking copious amounts of alcohol as I'd planned, I was in bed by 9pm after drinking copious amounts of Lemsip, which incidentally tastes like it's been through a gerbil's digestive system.
Christmas was average, as always. It's the same thing every year, and it's always on the same day! How boring! My favourite present was obviously my brand new slinky. Screw all the new clothes and DVDs and the rest of the expensive stuff. Slinky's where it's at!
After a week's solid slinky play, 2008 was over. It wasn’t a great year for a lot of reasons. The main reason being that I saw Callie Gower 6 times. And we all know that once a decade is quite enough. So let’s all hope that 2009 is a good, fun, Callie-free year!
Shalom to You.
I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to you about the lack of blogness recently. I'm sure if you'd have been that bothered you'd have complained. So I'll just get down to it shall I?
About a week before Christmas my family all got Leprosy, including me. It was horrible and subsequently ruined my birthday. Instead of going to bed at 4am after drinking copious amounts of alcohol as I'd planned, I was in bed by 9pm after drinking copious amounts of Lemsip, which incidentally tastes like it's been through a gerbil's digestive system.
Christmas was average, as always. It's the same thing every year, and it's always on the same day! How boring! My favourite present was obviously my brand new slinky. Screw all the new clothes and DVDs and the rest of the expensive stuff. Slinky's where it's at!
After a week's solid slinky play, 2008 was over. It wasn’t a great year for a lot of reasons. The main reason being that I saw Callie Gower 6 times. And we all know that once a decade is quite enough. So let’s all hope that 2009 is a good, fun, Callie-free year!
Shalom to You.
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